My Fertility Journey

Why BLOG?

Why NOW?

Dear old/new reader,

For the past five years, my husband and I have tried to conceive. We have been unsuccessful. We have undergone several attempts.

Searching for answers, my awesome husband recommended blogging. He is techy! He had me set up within minutes. Although it took him all of 10 minutes to get me set up on WordPress, it took him three years to convince me to return to writing. I had grown accustomed to using my family and close friends as a sounding board. He convinced me by circling the idea that other women with similar struggles need an outlet.  He knew the idea of helping others in need was my sweet spot. After deliberating the exposure and level of vulnerability, this blog would take, I agreed.  I agreed to bearing it all and letting the world into our childless journey.

So here it is!!! By subscribing to my blog, you will commit to my journey and hopefully, work up the nerves to share your own. If you don’t have a journey similar to mine I’m hoping that reading my blog will encourage you to empathize with someone struggling to conceive.

For the past 10 years, I have dealt with fibroids. I have gone through countless surgeries in the hopes of future childbearing. It gets to a point where you have to ask yourself, is this WORTH IT??? Should I keep going or call it quits? Granted when I completed my first surgery, I was in college and had no plans of having children. My plan was to finish undergraduate school, graduate school, marry the love of my life, start a career, and then have children.

My uterus had other plans. Plans that were not discussed with me. Plans that would turn my world upside down.

I’ve always said…

“Devise a plan and watch your uterus CRUSH IT!”

It all started, after finishing my first semester of college. I returned home for summer break. In the weeks following my summer transition, I found myself sitting in front of my high school OBGYN. I was desperate for a solution. A solution to my agonizing pain. The pain I silently endured, for the past 6 months. As I sat there staring at the very same physician I saw after getting my first period, my mind wondered. My immediate concerns; extreme blood loss, fatigue, pain, and an anxious parent. Also, why was he shaking his head at me? Why had my mother’s usual confident shoulders slumped and her knees buckled? Stopping myself from zoning out, I soon realized the severity of the current situation. The next thing I heard were the words; possible blood transfusion and hospital. At this point, I grew worried and swallowed the idea of my body being altered. I swallowed the reality of unwanted cramps and bleeding, turning into a life-changing operation.

Fast-forwarding to the present day (November 2017)…

The older I got the more children became a goal and a dream. After marrying my best friend, we set out to have children. To our discovery, the journey would not be as black and white as we once hoped.

This blog will examine our journey, from my point of view. It will also share secret poems and my innermost deepest thoughts. At some point I would like to interview other women, experiencing similar issues, and share their stories. I invite you into my heart and mind. Please subscribe, follow, comment, and share my journey. Sharing has been my saving grace, accompanied by long talks with God, prayers, crying, yelling, throwing, and writing.

I have many goals.

Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor.

Becoming an author.

Becoming a business owner.

Becoming a homeowner

Becoming a wife.

Becoming a mother.

I have accomplished all except, the last goal. I have no desire of forfeiting this battle.

Welcome to FLOW AWAY WITH ME. I hope my post, poems, and future interviews make you laugh, cry, and share with others.

XOXO,

Sandra Renee